ADHD and Shame: A Link That Needs To Be Broken

Adult ADHD and Shame

ADHD and ShameAs a man who was diagnosed at the age of 35, I can tell you all about the shame that comes with having an ADHD mind. I have also heard from hundreds of others who feel the same way when it comes to ADHD and shame, and how adult ADHD is perceived by many in society.

Trust me when I say that this must come to an end, since our minds are some of the most innovative and passionate out there. We simply need to uncover the best ways to harness our challenges while being supported in focusing on our strengths.

Shame Only Makes ADHD Worse!

It’s tough for parents, teachers and others to deal with children with ADHD in many cases. People with ADHD tend to act out in various ways, be really hyper-active in some cases, or withdrawn in others. We can be really exhausting to be around at times, due to our energy, passion and moods. I fully admit that.

However, we are only made to feel worse about ourselves when we are shamed over our behaviors. Patience is the key here, not just putting kids on medications to “calm them down.” These medications are often very dangerous and don’t even address the underlying differences in our behaviors! You won’t see big pharmaceutical companies publishing studies on the fragile human brain and how potentially dangerous their prescriptions are – you’ve got to use your common sense here, and look to other interventions before resorting to medications. Do NOT make them the “default” solution!


There is a reason we behave like we do. Do the work to get to the bottom of it and seek out healthy behavior changes, as well as seeing if powerful pharmaceuticals are ultimately needed. Many parents don’t want to hear this, and I understand, but it’s the truth. No one said this would be easy. After all, our society simply isn’t “constructed” for minds like ours. That’s why many with ADHD are in jails, battling drug addictions, while others are very successful. It’s a matter of support, luck of the draw and other factors along the way. I’m one of the lucky ones, even though I tried to kill myself a few years ago.

Proof That ADHD Exists

First of all: ADHD is simply a genetic difference. Don’t expect a standard “double-blind” university research study to prove that ADHD can be tested like diabetes, because it can’t. That said, there are many reports of brain scans of ADHD minds and how they differ in brain activity from non-ADHD minds. This is well-known, and you only need to spend some time with someone like myself to see very clearly that this condition, this “difference,” is real.

Next page: more proof that adhd exists and looking to the future. 

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