3. Take a Mom Time-Out Each Week
Second only to my legendary struggles with inconsistency is my struggling with guilt. Guilt over my not being the Perfect Mom, the Super Mom, the Most Understanding Mom or Patient Mom. I can’t tell you how many tears I’ve cried over my feeling like I’m not good enough to be Duck’s mom, or how many hours I’ve wasted wishing I were more like my own mother, who does have the patience of a saint. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world, isn’t it?
To combat this, take a regular time-out. Nothing crazy – I’m not suggesting you schedule a weekly trip to Tahiti. Well, not unless you take me with you. No, the reason you need to do this is you’re going to have to realize you aren’t ever going to be a perfect mom, but that’s okay. Your child doesn’t want any other mom than you. And this means good and bad, the untied shoe days and the I-just-got-my-hair-done-and-I-love-it days.
What your child wants and you need, is for you to be unhindered by the 'I’m not good enough' thoughts and bombarded with the constant guilt trips. Understand that you are good enough, you do have what it takes to be a god mom, and that being a perfect mom is boring. And probably lonely.
Get a hobby. Take a yoga class or just take a walk. It’ll help keep the junk at bay and give you a better overall perception of what’s important enough to keep and work on and what needs to be let go.
And then do it.
4. Connect with Other Moms
There are plenty of places on the net just for ADHD moms. Type 'ADHD moms' into Google and you’ll get approximately 1,060,000 results. It’s important to remember you aren’t the only mom out there who has adult ADHD and wonders if she’s doing her kids good or steering them straight into a hermit’s life.
You can believe me or not, but there are plenty of us out there and we all wonder about this. Okay, maybe the hermit thing is just me, but we all are going through similar struggles and nightly guilt trips over what we’ve done or not done.
You aren’t alone. Sharing with others can help with getting some ideas on how to make mornings run much faster or how nighttime can be less of a bear. Or give you a second to laugh. And that may be all you need to smile and drop the stress and be grateful that that particular parenting incident didn’t happen to you.
You want to be a better mom? Get out of your own head. Quit comparing yourself with other moms. Cut yourself some slack. Go hug your kids. They’ll thank you for it.
