Being Misunderstood
If you are a parent or spouse of someone with ADHD ask them two things.
- How many people know you really well?
- How often do you feel misunderstood?
Their answers to these questions will amaze you.
If I had to describe my life in a word, that word would be ‘misunderstood’. My whole life I’ve been told I am different. It wasn't until September 2012 I realized how different I was.
In school, I could be given a project to work on and have every single point of it figured out and written down. But when it came time to present it to the class, the social anxiety of being called different or having a disorder would engage. My words would come out all jumbled up. Nothing would make sense.
I opted out of reading out loud in class and try to avoid it as much as possible, not because I couldn't read but because my mind would get so entangled in the story I would start fumbling over simple words. The teacher would correct me, which broke what little concentration I had, which made other students snicker, which caused more social anxiety.
This did nothing more than push me into a shell. I am very fortunate to have the parents I have. When I came home they knew how to break the shell open. I was lucky enough to have parents who let me make the jokes.
Doctors
Doctors need physical evidence of something. They want to be able to see it on an x-ray or in blood work. If a doctor can't see physical evidence of something they put it in the category of 'mental disorder'.
But is thinking deeper about something really a mental disorder? Is showing emotions on a greater level a disorder? Is bouncing off the walls because you're hyperactive a disorder? Or is it just who you really are?
Have you ever noticed that doctors don't like to talk about things they can't explain? The fact is there is little information out there about ADHD that people with ADHD will relate to and agree with. People with ADHD can recognize compassion and can see right through people, and I can tell within the first five minutes of talking to a new doctor what they think of me.
Why should I tell them anything about this gift when they don't believe in it to begin with? I find most are not open minded or compassionate enough to even hear what I'm saying.
It is even harder for young people. How can you describe what's going on when you don't know yourself what's going on? And so doctors just medicate and move onto the next patient. They have no desire to look deeper or think harder, and young people suffer because of it.
